My Own Colossus

I am probably the least coordinated person I know. My track coach in High School gave me the tender, well-deserved, if slightly-politically-incorrect moniker of "Spazz", because while I was fast on the track, being asked to jump a four inch curb would leave me splattered on the ground - and my teammates howling to the side. My attempts at dancing are even more....interesting. Just find me at any wedding. My Macarena leaves my arms in Macrame. I have been known to Hokey-Pokey the eyes of any unfortunate who happened to be within a few yards of me. And my Electric Slide?? Looks more like Electrocution. So, it does seem ironic to me that so often I use the word "rhythm" as a metaphor for the way we live our lives. Just when it seems that life has calmed down to its own steady beat, sure enough, just like me on the dance floor, we get a bit tripped up - sometimes landing on our faces.

A year ago I was chronicling our time back on the mainland - time which we did not choose, but in retrospect, we saw God's mighty and merciful hand all over it! But it was the toughest trial of our lives together. Little did we know that it was a warm up for greater things.

It seems that I quite likely have cancer.

Last year, I started noticing a pain in my hip. It was consistent with arthritis, and given my history - such as doing all my running workouts barefoot...on concrete - it made sense. My favorite medical person in San Diego prescribed a strong anti-inflammatory, it worked, all was hunky, all was dory. Shortly toward the end of last year, the pain came back, along with weakness - but I attributed it to irritation on my joint. Since Don had no insurance at the time, and it wasn't that bad, we just moved on. By the time Don started his new job, got benefits, we knew that something was not quite right. I'll save the long and gories, but after tests and more tests, they found a tumor within the left femur (thigh bone, which according to Ezekiel, IS connected to the - HIP bone), plus another mass in soft tissue near the right pelvis. Neither of these belong there.

My orthopedist (who by the way is wonderful and sweet and kind and YOUNG - think of him as the Asian Doogie Hauser) has been so on top of this that I think I must be on speed dial. We are become good friends quite quickly. Anyway, he already has referred me to and chatted with the guy who is the top Orthopedic Oncologist in Hawaii. This means Don and I get a trip to O'ahu!! There are a couple more fun things here, but then late next week or the first part of the following, we'll be on way.

In the meantime...life is still so sweet. I have never been good at sitting still for more than a few minutes, and this won't be any different. I have the most amazing husband in husbandom. My kids (yes, the girls, too!!) and grands blow my socks off with how much they have blessed my life. We've shared tears, and I know that there are more ahead, but we also share lots more in laughs. So, how is this possible?? Well, since you asked....

I have a God who is endlessly merciful, and utterly perfect in His plans. God is sovereign. God is faithful. I may not even come close to EVER understand why He does some of the stuff He does, or allows some of the stuff he allows - but I haven't kicked up a fuss when he has chosen to give me the life that He has, or sacrificing His Son for me as He did. For you reading this who are believers, this is no news. I have been reading a lot of Psalms and a LOT of the last chapters of Job (38-42). For you reading who do not know the Lord, I encourage you to find a bible, and go to the book of Job. It is awesome.

I'm not ever going to say that I'm not a bit scared. I hate this. But I promised God my everything, and I can't hold back. He has now asked me to ride my own giant roller coaster (read previous entry, "Riding Colossus"), but He promises to be right there with me. He has promised Don, John, Greg, Kyle & Kristin the same thing - even though their rides will be different.

So, everyone...Hands in the air...here we go....