For those of you who are not Star Trek Fans (and why aren't you!?!?), let me explain about the Good Guys - The United Federation of Planets - versus the Bad Guys - Klingons, Romulans, and The Borg. The Good Guys go exploring the galaxies, discovering new species who, remarkably enough, almost all speak English. It is then the Good Guys who must protect the never-before-encountered-yet-articulate-in-English newbies from the Bad Guys. Up to speed? Good. It gets more complicated from here. Okay, so the first incarnation of Star Trek, Captain James T. Kirk (before he had to start hawking for Priceline. I guess a Captain's retirement pay from the Federation doesn't quite cover the bills), is mortal enemies with the Klingons and Romulans. He never even heard of the Borg. In this time, the Romulans looked just like Vulcans because at one time they were like all the same or something and then they like had a fight and Vulcans became all stoic and smart and junk and the Romulans just got a nasty attitude. The Klingons of this time looked like a cross between a sixties beatnik and some orange-tanned cast member of Jersey Shore. But I digress. Point being, they were all the bad nasties and Captain Kirk went about valiantly protecting all the well-spoken alien species. Flash-forward a couple of captains and tv decades later, and we have Captain Jean-Luc Picard, taking a break from doing Shakespeare-on-the-Green In Enid, Oklahoma. By this time, the Feds have made nice-nice with the Klingons - who have lost their Jersey Orange tans, but have developed a truly nasty case of forehead ridges from too much time on a tanning bed. The Romulans are still among the bad nasties. But then appears (duh-duh-DUH!!), flying at super warp speed, a cube that looks like something like a '67 Lincoln Continental that went several rounds with an car crusher. But these guys are scary. They want to "assimilate" all species, but barring that ("Resistance is futile" which has to be pronounced "Few-tile", otherwise no one will take them seriously), The Borg will simply annihilate what ever does kick up a fuss. The Borg are also telepathically wired to one another so they can spread a single thought throughout their "Collective", making them the baddest of the bad nasties.
So, WHAT the heck am I talking about!?!?!? Thought you'd never ask....
Today was the first of the results to find out how big the bad nasties were that had invaded my body. A week ago is when I donated about a gallon or two of my blood for them to ponder and examine and sell off the extra. So far, this has been the only test I have had since the many wonderful scans in the refrigerated radiology department. It doesn't mean it's been all quiet and calm. Not quite.
Thank God Greg has been here to take me around to all these places and be my general buddy when Don is working. We are losing track of the number of trips we have taken over to the hospital, including one extra special one to pick up re-writes of prescriptions that Walmart couldn't cover so we then had to go to a different pharmacy that the Cancer Clinic uses. WHEW!! Today, he actually came in with Don and I so he could be there to pray, be supportive, pray, ask good questions, and then...pray. He also has become our personal valet, as they are doing construction on the building (yay, MORE places to get lost!!), and the construction dudes pretty much take up all the parking. So, he tried taking it to valet out by the lobby. The declined saying they could not because FloJo also accompanied us, and they were not allowed to take a car with LIVE animals!! Kinda begs a certain question, doesn't it....
ANYWAY!! He eventually got the car parked and joined us in the waiting room of the Pacific Cancer Center. I really admire the overall attitude of these good people doing a hard job in a difficult area. We are always met with smiles and warmth (in demeanor, not temperature), there are usually home-baked cookies on the reception desk surrounded by gorgeous tropical flowers, and there is a giant jigsaw puzzle on a table for those who are waiting the long wait for a doctor or loved one. Today there was an extra treat - a musician!! A....HARPIST!! Now, I don't want to stereotype, but is HARP music really the appropriate genre in an oncology ward!?!?!?!? ("yes, this is what you may be hearing soon - and you just might be playing it!). So, we sat and giggled our sick, morbid jokes until my name was called and the three of us trudged back.
I know I talked about my oncologist and his sweetness and artistic acumen, but I failed to describe him. Dr. Ramin Altaha a soft-spoken Persian with years of studies from Hamburg, Germany and Johns-Hopkins and few more rather impressive places. He chuckles like an prepubescent boy whose best friend just said "booby". He also has a little gray in his scruffy beard (verrrry comforting, seeing gray), and a crazy, not quite controlled head of longish soft black curls. Kind of a Persian Labradoodle. But he makes what is so tough much easier.
Dr. Labradoodle takes out his notes and asks me what other tests I may have had or have scheduled. I respond about the blood, the biopsy scheduled for next Friday, the meeting with the Radiation Oncologist on Wednesday, and still waiting for the free trip to Honolulu for the P.E.T. scan. he takes down my answers. Then he pulls out his notes about the blood, and smiles as he reports that the blood tests show nothing in vital organs!! PRAAAAAISE GOD!!!! What does this mean?!!? The cancer does not appear to be from pancreas ovary breast liver kidney colon or even from any vagrant thyroid tissue left behind for 8 years ago. Any of these could have been very grim news indeed, as the prognoses for these types of cancer are equally grim. No Borg. No "Collective" trying to assimilate healthy tissue or destroy what it could not absorb.
This was the first good news of any kind since this nightmare began just a couple of weeks ago. Dr. used the term "if" instead of "when" for the chemotherapy. I have admitted to my family that I was kind of getting behind the notion of the smooth, no maintenance head. But then again, I have a very lumpy, bumpy skull and bald would not do. Besides, I am used to pulling my hair through the back of my mask when I snorkel, and I fear that the strap may just slip right off without it. So, yeah...pretty jazzed that I may get to keep my hairs.
But we're not in enemy free territory. The same nodules and tumors are there - and Dr. Labradoodle is seeking answers from the biopsy. And radiation will be hitting all the spots of enemy growth throughout my body. I spent some time ready up on the side effects of radiation. Not pretty. One instruction actually says to avoid going to the beach.......... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!! We'll figure a way around that. Then, because I will have some zappage on my chest to get to the little pimples on my lungs, I might have throat troubles. Avoid spicy foods, it advises.....EHEHEHEHEHHEEEE!! I will likely be having three-spice hummus while sitting (under an umbrella) on Ka'anapali Beach.
Things are going to change in a way I don't like - but at least it looks like I will be alive to appreciate it. I was telling Gregory tonight that I have never been so completely out-of-control of anything in my life - nor have I ever felt so free. I do and go what and where the doctors say. It's not them I put my trust in, however - it is the God of Creation who put them in this position to help me. The medicine and prescription and radiation and all treatments may have their name on the orders, but it is God who gifted them and gives them insight. Don't get me wrong. I love every single doctor and medical person I have met in this process, and I am in awe of their brains and years of study and profound work ethic. But.... I know the power comes from above...
So, now back to my odd metaphor.... I know that I have used roller coasters and chariots. Don't mean to give you time warp whiplash, or shock your brain by referring to Biblical History in one entry then a futuristic fiction in the next. But in our conversation with my lovely Dr. Ramin "Labradoodle" Altaha, he expressed deep concern for the pain I would be feeling as the bone and muscle get eaten up a bit under treatment. He insisted I start now. He insisted on Morphine.
Told ya....I'll do whatever the doctors say.....
Friday, August 31, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Chariots of Undetermined Origin...
"When you go to war against your enemies, and you see horses and chariots and an army larger than your own, you shall not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you, who brought you out of the Land of Egypt." Deuteronomy 20:1
Metastatic Cancer of Undetermined Origin.
That's what was scribbled in the Diagnosis part of the sheet ordering blood tests said. Of course, I already knew that, but seeing it in a doctor's scrawl brought it into light. It was there for anyone to see. The good people handling it would see it and know I wasn't in there for the usual. When the tech came to get the blood, she was cheerful and chatty - she seemed to know how much I needed that. I told her of our plans to head upcountry to Makawao to a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant that was supposed to be one of the best on the island, which led to us discussing the dearth of good Mexican restaurants on Maui. A few minutes later (she was VERY good!!), I left - a couple quarts down on blood, but light hearted as I could now head off to one of my favorite spots with two of my favorite people. I could escape for a while.
But before we got there, we had the week previous....
The orthopedic oncologist in O'ahu ordered a contrast chest CT and a full body bone scan. This meant a trip to Maui Memorial, 45 minutes away. Praise God for Gregory being here!! He has unequaled honor of chauffeuring me to and from all these places. Lucky guy. I love that this hospital has free valet - seriously - so that all we had to do was pull up in my rather ragged Jeepie Blue Beastie (yes, that is his formal and full name), and pop out to the bright and airy lobby. The hospital had called the day before (Monday) and had pre-registered me, so the process was a piece of cake once I got there. Then I got the instructions for the journey to radiology...
In Israel during Biblical times, the tradition was for a young man to bring his bride to his home that was built as an extension to his parents home. This made for interesting in-law relations, I am sure, plus add-ons and remodels that would make a feng shui designer's head explode. Maui Memorial looks pretty much like that. From it's earliest beginnings and add-ons and new wings it seems it definitely adopted the function-over-form concept....sorta. The result is a series of buildings connected by hallways and walkways and elevators that don't go to the same floors. A couple of years ago, Don and I were visiting a friend in the same hospital and made the mistake of assuming that taking one elevator would take us to the same floor as the other. I think our friend got out before we did.
So, after I was duly registered, wristband donned (with a barcode, no less! I was tempted to go to the nearby Sears to see how much we could get for me), I was handed a piece of paper with directions. They are, VERBATIM: Lobby Kawaiola Elevator; 1st Floor; Right; Left; Right; Down the Hall to Elevators; to 2nd Floor; Right; Right; Down the Hall to Last Door on the Left Before Blue Double Doors. It's a good thing I saw the radiology sign, because the double doors beyond were NOT BLUE!! Coulda been lost forever....
The radiology department had a nice comfortable waiting area. A nice, refrigerated, waiting area. All the people working there are dressed for a Minnesota January, while we who just came in dressed for the 88 degree Maui summer. The staff understands this disparity, as they are ready with warm blankies for those of us huddled in chairs. A few minutes later, me and my Linus blanket were escorted back for my i.v. placement. Ick. But my veins just gave it up quickly and all was right - and then they brought the contrast syringe in a thick metal vial. Is that for me!?!? After the injection, I had the capability of being my own nightlight...or W.M.D. I would have three hours of the stuff floating around until the body scan, but I could get the chest CT right away. The contrast for this test is like having menopause in a shot - complete with hot flashes and a feeling that you should have worn Depends. But that all went quick as a bunny, and Greg and I were free to go have breakfast (it was a FASTING CT!!) and wander in a mall. I actually was bored in said mall. I must be sick. The body scan later went a little longer. A lot longer. One scan turned into three more, which then turned into extra x-rays. As soon as the folks there left me alone, we made our escape! Okay...they sprung me, but they were thinking up new tests, I'm convinced. But we left there knowing that something was up. But I would not hear results until I met with my orthopedist (Asian Doogie Howser) two days later.
The appointment came almost just opposite of a business breakfast Don had, which meant that Greg and I dropped Don off at work (on his day off, no less!), then boogied up to doctor, then Greg headed back to get Don, then the two hustled back up to doctor. Tired yet!?!? Fortunately, each was only a very few miles from the other. When my turn came, my men were not yet back - and the doctor had me wait until they were there. ulp! Have I said how much I ADORE this young ortho!??! This is wayaay out of his expertise, but he jumped on it with all the fervor of one caring for his own. When we were all there, he loving gave the scoop.
In our last episode, I shared that I had a couple of dangerous tumors in my legs. Turns out that there was plenty of company. For those keeping score: one in left femur bone, one in muscle of right thigh/pelvis, small one in lower spine, one in right arm (how random is that!?!?), plus teeny-weeny (Doc's words, not mine) nodules - two in lymph nodes in abdomen, two in liver, five in lungs.
So, that means no free trip to see the ortho onco (I do love the Dr. Seussian sound of that), because it isn't bone cancer. I met my general oncologist, and he is fun and pretty cute. I must admit, if it weren't for the whole cancer thing, there would definitely be an up-side to having the attention of these young professionals. Dr. Altaha's drawings, as he was explaining where all these pimples and warts were, had all the talent and charm of a drawing posted proudly on the fridge of a five-year-old's parents. But it was effective. I may not get to spend a few days seeing Ortho Onco (LOVE saying that!) - I do, however, get to have a free day trip over there for a P.E.T. scan so they can see more of how "hot" they are (never knew you quantify my level of uber hotness) and stage the cancer. I also have a biopsy in my future, plus a small surgery to implant a port somewhere around my collarbone. This way, all the blood coming out and the juice flowing in will have its own door, and I will still be able to go in the water - an absolute must for me.
I'm not gonna lie. This is a little scary. A lot scary. But God has been showing His mercy and care throughout. The scripture quoted at the top of this is one that my pastor referred to a couple of Sundays ago - when I knew about the tumors - just not how many. Steve was teaching the gospel of John, but quite frankly (sorry, Steve), I don't remember why the connection or what the verse in John was leading to the verse in Deuteronomy, but all I heard was God's voice saying "LISTEN!! This is for YOU!!" Seriously, I almost jumped up and hollered "hallelujah!!", but....I didn't. But this verse sums up what God is telling me. This verse sums up what I am facing and WHO is beside me. All these chariots. All these horses. This large, venomous army set out to destroy me. But I am not to fear.
This is not to say that I don't have my dark moments. There are plenty of those. This is not to say that I haven't cried. A lot. Or that Don hasn't cried. A lot. This wasn't in our plans for Maui - or anywhere, for that matter. We are blessed to have a family with a twisted sense of humor (do NOT know where they got that!) who are helping us get through. I may even post a blog sometime about the best worst jokes coming from this. I am also surrounded with a family of God who will hold me up - and some with the same warped sensibility as our bio family. I don't like what is about to happen, but I am ready for battle.
Like last year, my blogs will be mostly about this journey. I invite you along. If it is too much, that's okay. I'll never know....unless you tell me, of course... It won't be all about it. My life is too rich to be so focused on one thing.
Finally, this - something believers already know and non-believers never may: God WILL be glorified through this...and I am humbled that He chose me. Now, bring on them horses and chariots...
Metastatic Cancer of Undetermined Origin.
That's what was scribbled in the Diagnosis part of the sheet ordering blood tests said. Of course, I already knew that, but seeing it in a doctor's scrawl brought it into light. It was there for anyone to see. The good people handling it would see it and know I wasn't in there for the usual. When the tech came to get the blood, she was cheerful and chatty - she seemed to know how much I needed that. I told her of our plans to head upcountry to Makawao to a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant that was supposed to be one of the best on the island, which led to us discussing the dearth of good Mexican restaurants on Maui. A few minutes later (she was VERY good!!), I left - a couple quarts down on blood, but light hearted as I could now head off to one of my favorite spots with two of my favorite people. I could escape for a while.
But before we got there, we had the week previous....
The orthopedic oncologist in O'ahu ordered a contrast chest CT and a full body bone scan. This meant a trip to Maui Memorial, 45 minutes away. Praise God for Gregory being here!! He has unequaled honor of chauffeuring me to and from all these places. Lucky guy. I love that this hospital has free valet - seriously - so that all we had to do was pull up in my rather ragged Jeepie Blue Beastie (yes, that is his formal and full name), and pop out to the bright and airy lobby. The hospital had called the day before (Monday) and had pre-registered me, so the process was a piece of cake once I got there. Then I got the instructions for the journey to radiology...
In Israel during Biblical times, the tradition was for a young man to bring his bride to his home that was built as an extension to his parents home. This made for interesting in-law relations, I am sure, plus add-ons and remodels that would make a feng shui designer's head explode. Maui Memorial looks pretty much like that. From it's earliest beginnings and add-ons and new wings it seems it definitely adopted the function-over-form concept....sorta. The result is a series of buildings connected by hallways and walkways and elevators that don't go to the same floors. A couple of years ago, Don and I were visiting a friend in the same hospital and made the mistake of assuming that taking one elevator would take us to the same floor as the other. I think our friend got out before we did.
So, after I was duly registered, wristband donned (with a barcode, no less! I was tempted to go to the nearby Sears to see how much we could get for me), I was handed a piece of paper with directions. They are, VERBATIM: Lobby Kawaiola Elevator; 1st Floor; Right; Left; Right; Down the Hall to Elevators; to 2nd Floor; Right; Right; Down the Hall to Last Door on the Left Before Blue Double Doors. It's a good thing I saw the radiology sign, because the double doors beyond were NOT BLUE!! Coulda been lost forever....
The radiology department had a nice comfortable waiting area. A nice, refrigerated, waiting area. All the people working there are dressed for a Minnesota January, while we who just came in dressed for the 88 degree Maui summer. The staff understands this disparity, as they are ready with warm blankies for those of us huddled in chairs. A few minutes later, me and my Linus blanket were escorted back for my i.v. placement. Ick. But my veins just gave it up quickly and all was right - and then they brought the contrast syringe in a thick metal vial. Is that for me!?!? After the injection, I had the capability of being my own nightlight...or W.M.D. I would have three hours of the stuff floating around until the body scan, but I could get the chest CT right away. The contrast for this test is like having menopause in a shot - complete with hot flashes and a feeling that you should have worn Depends. But that all went quick as a bunny, and Greg and I were free to go have breakfast (it was a FASTING CT!!) and wander in a mall. I actually was bored in said mall. I must be sick. The body scan later went a little longer. A lot longer. One scan turned into three more, which then turned into extra x-rays. As soon as the folks there left me alone, we made our escape! Okay...they sprung me, but they were thinking up new tests, I'm convinced. But we left there knowing that something was up. But I would not hear results until I met with my orthopedist (Asian Doogie Howser) two days later.
The appointment came almost just opposite of a business breakfast Don had, which meant that Greg and I dropped Don off at work (on his day off, no less!), then boogied up to doctor, then Greg headed back to get Don, then the two hustled back up to doctor. Tired yet!?!? Fortunately, each was only a very few miles from the other. When my turn came, my men were not yet back - and the doctor had me wait until they were there. ulp! Have I said how much I ADORE this young ortho!??! This is wayaay out of his expertise, but he jumped on it with all the fervor of one caring for his own. When we were all there, he loving gave the scoop.
In our last episode, I shared that I had a couple of dangerous tumors in my legs. Turns out that there was plenty of company. For those keeping score: one in left femur bone, one in muscle of right thigh/pelvis, small one in lower spine, one in right arm (how random is that!?!?), plus teeny-weeny (Doc's words, not mine) nodules - two in lymph nodes in abdomen, two in liver, five in lungs.
So, that means no free trip to see the ortho onco (I do love the Dr. Seussian sound of that), because it isn't bone cancer. I met my general oncologist, and he is fun and pretty cute. I must admit, if it weren't for the whole cancer thing, there would definitely be an up-side to having the attention of these young professionals. Dr. Altaha's drawings, as he was explaining where all these pimples and warts were, had all the talent and charm of a drawing posted proudly on the fridge of a five-year-old's parents. But it was effective. I may not get to spend a few days seeing Ortho Onco (LOVE saying that!) - I do, however, get to have a free day trip over there for a P.E.T. scan so they can see more of how "hot" they are (never knew you quantify my level of uber hotness) and stage the cancer. I also have a biopsy in my future, plus a small surgery to implant a port somewhere around my collarbone. This way, all the blood coming out and the juice flowing in will have its own door, and I will still be able to go in the water - an absolute must for me.
I'm not gonna lie. This is a little scary. A lot scary. But God has been showing His mercy and care throughout. The scripture quoted at the top of this is one that my pastor referred to a couple of Sundays ago - when I knew about the tumors - just not how many. Steve was teaching the gospel of John, but quite frankly (sorry, Steve), I don't remember why the connection or what the verse in John was leading to the verse in Deuteronomy, but all I heard was God's voice saying "LISTEN!! This is for YOU!!" Seriously, I almost jumped up and hollered "hallelujah!!", but....I didn't. But this verse sums up what God is telling me. This verse sums up what I am facing and WHO is beside me. All these chariots. All these horses. This large, venomous army set out to destroy me. But I am not to fear.
This is not to say that I don't have my dark moments. There are plenty of those. This is not to say that I haven't cried. A lot. Or that Don hasn't cried. A lot. This wasn't in our plans for Maui - or anywhere, for that matter. We are blessed to have a family with a twisted sense of humor (do NOT know where they got that!) who are helping us get through. I may even post a blog sometime about the best worst jokes coming from this. I am also surrounded with a family of God who will hold me up - and some with the same warped sensibility as our bio family. I don't like what is about to happen, but I am ready for battle.
Like last year, my blogs will be mostly about this journey. I invite you along. If it is too much, that's okay. I'll never know....unless you tell me, of course... It won't be all about it. My life is too rich to be so focused on one thing.
Finally, this - something believers already know and non-believers never may: God WILL be glorified through this...and I am humbled that He chose me. Now, bring on them horses and chariots...
Friday, August 17, 2012
My Own Colossus
I am probably the least coordinated person I know. My track coach in High School gave me the tender, well-deserved, if slightly-politically-incorrect moniker of "Spazz", because while I was fast on the track, being asked to jump a four inch curb would leave me splattered on the ground - and my teammates howling to the side. My attempts at dancing are even more....interesting. Just find me at any wedding. My Macarena leaves my arms in Macrame. I have been known to Hokey-Pokey the eyes of any unfortunate who happened to be within a few yards of me. And my Electric Slide?? Looks more like Electrocution. So, it does seem ironic to me that so often I use the word "rhythm" as a metaphor for the way we live our lives. Just when it seems that life has calmed down to its own steady beat, sure enough, just like me on the dance floor, we get a bit tripped up - sometimes landing on our faces.
A year ago I was chronicling our time back on the mainland - time which we did not choose, but in retrospect, we saw God's mighty and merciful hand all over it! But it was the toughest trial of our lives together. Little did we know that it was a warm up for greater things.
It seems that I quite likely have cancer.
Last year, I started noticing a pain in my hip. It was consistent with arthritis, and given my history - such as doing all my running workouts barefoot...on concrete - it made sense. My favorite medical person in San Diego prescribed a strong anti-inflammatory, it worked, all was hunky, all was dory. Shortly toward the end of last year, the pain came back, along with weakness - but I attributed it to irritation on my joint. Since Don had no insurance at the time, and it wasn't that bad, we just moved on. By the time Don started his new job, got benefits, we knew that something was not quite right. I'll save the long and gories, but after tests and more tests, they found a tumor within the left femur (thigh bone, which according to Ezekiel, IS connected to the - HIP bone), plus another mass in soft tissue near the right pelvis. Neither of these belong there.
My orthopedist (who by the way is wonderful and sweet and kind and YOUNG - think of him as the Asian Doogie Hauser) has been so on top of this that I think I must be on speed dial. We are become good friends quite quickly. Anyway, he already has referred me to and chatted with the guy who is the top Orthopedic Oncologist in Hawaii. This means Don and I get a trip to O'ahu!! There are a couple more fun things here, but then late next week or the first part of the following, we'll be on way.
In the meantime...life is still so sweet. I have never been good at sitting still for more than a few minutes, and this won't be any different. I have the most amazing husband in husbandom. My kids (yes, the girls, too!!) and grands blow my socks off with how much they have blessed my life. We've shared tears, and I know that there are more ahead, but we also share lots more in laughs. So, how is this possible?? Well, since you asked....
I have a God who is endlessly merciful, and utterly perfect in His plans. God is sovereign. God is faithful. I may not even come close to EVER understand why He does some of the stuff He does, or allows some of the stuff he allows - but I haven't kicked up a fuss when he has chosen to give me the life that He has, or sacrificing His Son for me as He did. For you reading this who are believers, this is no news. I have been reading a lot of Psalms and a LOT of the last chapters of Job (38-42). For you reading who do not know the Lord, I encourage you to find a bible, and go to the book of Job. It is awesome.
I'm not ever going to say that I'm not a bit scared. I hate this. But I promised God my everything, and I can't hold back. He has now asked me to ride my own giant roller coaster (read previous entry, "Riding Colossus"), but He promises to be right there with me. He has promised Don, John, Greg, Kyle & Kristin the same thing - even though their rides will be different.
So, everyone...Hands in the air...here we go....
A year ago I was chronicling our time back on the mainland - time which we did not choose, but in retrospect, we saw God's mighty and merciful hand all over it! But it was the toughest trial of our lives together. Little did we know that it was a warm up for greater things.
It seems that I quite likely have cancer.
Last year, I started noticing a pain in my hip. It was consistent with arthritis, and given my history - such as doing all my running workouts barefoot...on concrete - it made sense. My favorite medical person in San Diego prescribed a strong anti-inflammatory, it worked, all was hunky, all was dory. Shortly toward the end of last year, the pain came back, along with weakness - but I attributed it to irritation on my joint. Since Don had no insurance at the time, and it wasn't that bad, we just moved on. By the time Don started his new job, got benefits, we knew that something was not quite right. I'll save the long and gories, but after tests and more tests, they found a tumor within the left femur (thigh bone, which according to Ezekiel, IS connected to the - HIP bone), plus another mass in soft tissue near the right pelvis. Neither of these belong there.
My orthopedist (who by the way is wonderful and sweet and kind and YOUNG - think of him as the Asian Doogie Hauser) has been so on top of this that I think I must be on speed dial. We are become good friends quite quickly. Anyway, he already has referred me to and chatted with the guy who is the top Orthopedic Oncologist in Hawaii. This means Don and I get a trip to O'ahu!! There are a couple more fun things here, but then late next week or the first part of the following, we'll be on way.
In the meantime...life is still so sweet. I have never been good at sitting still for more than a few minutes, and this won't be any different. I have the most amazing husband in husbandom. My kids (yes, the girls, too!!) and grands blow my socks off with how much they have blessed my life. We've shared tears, and I know that there are more ahead, but we also share lots more in laughs. So, how is this possible?? Well, since you asked....
I have a God who is endlessly merciful, and utterly perfect in His plans. God is sovereign. God is faithful. I may not even come close to EVER understand why He does some of the stuff He does, or allows some of the stuff he allows - but I haven't kicked up a fuss when he has chosen to give me the life that He has, or sacrificing His Son for me as He did. For you reading this who are believers, this is no news. I have been reading a lot of Psalms and a LOT of the last chapters of Job (38-42). For you reading who do not know the Lord, I encourage you to find a bible, and go to the book of Job. It is awesome.
I'm not ever going to say that I'm not a bit scared. I hate this. But I promised God my everything, and I can't hold back. He has now asked me to ride my own giant roller coaster (read previous entry, "Riding Colossus"), but He promises to be right there with me. He has promised Don, John, Greg, Kyle & Kristin the same thing - even though their rides will be different.
So, everyone...Hands in the air...here we go....
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