Chariots of Undetermined Origin...

"When you go to war against your enemies, and you see horses and chariots and an army larger than your own, you shall not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you, who brought you out of the Land of Egypt." Deuteronomy 20:1

Metastatic Cancer of Undetermined Origin.

That's what was scribbled in the Diagnosis part of the sheet ordering blood tests said. Of course, I already knew that, but seeing it in a doctor's scrawl brought it into light. It was there for anyone to see. The good people handling it would see it and know I wasn't in there for the usual. When the tech came to get the blood, she was cheerful and chatty - she seemed to know how much I needed that. I told her of our plans to head upcountry to Makawao to a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant that was supposed to be one of the best on the island, which led to us discussing the dearth of good Mexican restaurants on Maui. A few minutes later (she was VERY good!!), I left - a couple quarts down on blood, but light hearted as I could now head off to one of my favorite spots with two of my favorite people. I could escape for a while.

But before we got there, we had the week previous....

The orthopedic oncologist in O'ahu ordered a contrast chest CT and a full body bone scan. This meant a trip to Maui Memorial, 45 minutes away. Praise God for Gregory being here!! He has unequaled honor of chauffeuring me to and from all these places. Lucky guy. I love that this hospital has free valet - seriously - so that all we had to do was pull up in my rather ragged Jeepie Blue Beastie (yes, that is his formal and full name), and pop out to the bright and airy lobby. The hospital had called the day before (Monday) and had pre-registered me, so the process was a piece of cake once I got there. Then I got the instructions for the journey to radiology...

In Israel during Biblical times, the tradition was for a young man to bring his bride to his home that was built as an extension to his parents home. This made for interesting in-law relations, I am sure, plus add-ons and remodels that would make a feng shui designer's head explode. Maui Memorial looks pretty much like that. From it's earliest beginnings and add-ons and new wings it seems it definitely adopted the function-over-form concept....sorta. The result is a series of buildings connected by hallways and walkways and elevators that don't go to the same floors. A couple of years ago, Don and I were visiting a friend in the same hospital and made the mistake of assuming that taking one elevator would take us to the same floor as the other. I think our friend got out before we did.

So, after I was duly registered, wristband donned (with a barcode, no less! I was tempted to go to the nearby Sears to see how much we could get for me), I was handed a piece of paper with directions. They are, VERBATIM: Lobby Kawaiola Elevator; 1st Floor; Right; Left; Right; Down the Hall to Elevators; to 2nd Floor; Right; Right; Down the Hall to Last Door on the Left Before Blue Double Doors. It's a good thing I saw the radiology sign, because the double doors beyond were NOT BLUE!! Coulda been lost forever....

The radiology department had a nice comfortable waiting area. A nice, refrigerated, waiting area. All the people working there are dressed for a Minnesota January, while we who just came in dressed for the 88 degree Maui summer. The staff understands this disparity, as they are ready with warm blankies for those of us huddled in chairs. A few minutes later, me and my Linus blanket were escorted back for my i.v. placement. Ick. But my veins just gave it up quickly and all was right - and then they brought the contrast syringe in a thick metal vial. Is that for me!?!? After the injection, I had the capability of being my own nightlight...or W.M.D. I would have three hours of the stuff floating around until the body scan, but I could get the chest CT right away. The contrast for this test is like having menopause in a shot - complete with hot flashes and a feeling that you should have worn Depends. But that all went quick as a bunny, and Greg and I were free to go have breakfast (it was a FASTING CT!!) and wander in a mall. I actually was bored in said mall. I must be sick. The body scan later went a little longer. A lot longer. One scan turned into three more, which then turned into extra x-rays. As soon as the folks there left me alone, we made our escape! Okay...they sprung me, but they were thinking up new tests, I'm convinced. But we left there knowing that something was up. But I would not hear results until I met with my orthopedist (Asian Doogie Howser) two days later.

The appointment came almost just opposite of a business breakfast Don had, which meant that Greg and I dropped Don off at work (on his day off, no less!), then boogied up to doctor, then Greg headed back to get Don, then the two hustled back up to doctor. Tired yet!?!? Fortunately, each was only a very few miles from the other. When my turn came, my men were not yet back - and the doctor had me wait until they were there. ulp! Have I said how much I ADORE this young ortho!??! This is wayaay out of his expertise, but he jumped on it with all the fervor of one caring for his own. When we were all there, he loving gave the scoop.

In our last episode, I shared that I had a couple of dangerous tumors in my legs. Turns out that there was plenty of company. For those keeping score: one in left femur bone, one in muscle of right thigh/pelvis, small one in lower spine, one in right arm (how random is that!?!?), plus teeny-weeny (Doc's words, not mine) nodules - two in lymph nodes in abdomen, two in liver, five in lungs.

So, that means no free trip to see the ortho onco (I do love the Dr. Seussian sound of that), because it isn't bone cancer. I met my general oncologist, and he is fun and pretty cute. I must admit, if it weren't for the whole cancer thing, there would definitely be an up-side to having the attention of these young professionals. Dr. Altaha's drawings, as he was explaining where all these pimples and warts were, had all the talent and charm of a drawing posted proudly on the fridge of a five-year-old's parents. But it was effective. I may not get to spend a few days seeing Ortho Onco (LOVE saying that!) - I do, however, get to have a free day trip over there for a P.E.T. scan so they can see more of how "hot" they are (never knew you quantify my level of uber hotness) and stage the cancer. I also have a biopsy in my future, plus a small surgery to implant a port somewhere around my collarbone. This way, all the blood coming out and the juice flowing in will have its own door, and I will still be able to go in the water - an absolute must for me.

I'm not gonna lie. This is a little scary. A lot scary. But God has been showing His mercy and care throughout. The scripture quoted at the top of this is one that my pastor referred to a couple of Sundays ago - when I knew about the tumors - just not how many. Steve was teaching the gospel of John, but quite frankly (sorry, Steve), I don't remember why the connection or what the verse in John was leading to the verse in Deuteronomy, but all I heard was God's voice saying "LISTEN!! This is for YOU!!" Seriously, I almost jumped up and hollered "hallelujah!!", but....I didn't. But this verse sums up what God is telling me. This verse sums up what I am facing and WHO is beside me. All these chariots. All these horses. This large, venomous army set out to destroy me. But I am not to fear.

This is not to say that I don't have my dark moments. There are plenty of those. This is not to say that I haven't cried. A lot. Or that Don hasn't cried. A lot. This wasn't in our plans for Maui - or anywhere, for that matter. We are blessed to have a family with a twisted sense of humor (do NOT know where they got that!) who are helping us get through. I may even post a blog sometime about the best worst jokes coming from this. I am also surrounded with a family of God who will hold me up - and some with the same warped sensibility as our bio family. I don't like what is about to happen, but I am ready for battle.

Like last year, my blogs will be mostly about this journey. I invite you along. If it is too much, that's okay. I'll never know....unless you tell me, of course... It won't be all about it. My life is too rich to be so focused on one thing.

Finally, this - something believers already know and non-believers never may: God WILL be glorified through this...and I am humbled that He chose me. Now, bring on them horses and chariots...