Gestating...

No. Calm down. I am not sharing any miraculous/terrifying/disturbing news. I'm just making one of my weird analogies.

If you have ever been pregnant, or are closely associated with a woman who is/has been, you know that the toughest parts are usually the first few months and the slow-moving final weeks. If you were to compress that nine months into five, this would be a good metaphor for our lives. Well...at least in my little mind.

As opposed to being all ecstatic (hopefully!) like when one hears about an impending new life, we were less than delirious with joy when we began this adventure last September after finding out that our lease would not be renewed. It was pretty rough leaving a place that we had called home for a year, and had fallen in love with. Our first temporary spot on the water had its obvious perks, but it had no privacy, things didn't work properly, and there were a few uninvited visitors- ranging from the 2-to-6-legged variety. But we were together, the three of us. When we moved on December 1, we came to this little place. The heart-wrenching part for us was leaving FloJo at a kennel in Upcountry Maui. Of course, she's been having a blast with the owners' kids and her other doggy friends. But I digress. The week we were here before going to the mainland was pretty good - but there were some issues to be sure. But since we were so excited about flying to the mainland to see our loved ones for Christmas, it was easy to overlook the problems.

I can't say that this has continued to be the case.

The warts of this place have gotten bigger and more uncomfortable to deal with - not unlike a pregnancy, but without the cute results. But we do what we can. We got one of those magic foam type mattress toppers since the bed was pretty much rock hard. We have learned to keep an eye on anything that is in the microwave, since this antique's dial for the time doesn't move. At all. We have learned to move around each other in this little space and one bathroom. We've even gotten used to the miniscule clothing storage (who needs big closets when you're on a Hawaiian vacation!?!?) But we can't seem to get past the dark, cave-like feeing of this place. It is in a wing of the building that juts out from the north side of a U-shaped building. Not only does it miss all the sun this time of year, but it is in the shadow of the main building. The results are a dark, rather grim little mood. Our bedroom only has those high up window, because it is on the hallway where tourists and their luggage go clackity-clackity-clackity to their home-away-from-home for the week - and where they leave at 3:00 a.m. to go see the sunrise on Haleakala or return at 2:00 a.m. after indulging in a little nightlife. There is also the hum of the elevators which move happy passengers up and down the building at about, oh, a foot from our headboard...and heads. We even have some kind of fluorescent light droning from....somewhere.

The view of the ocean is only if you're standing on the lanai - not sitting, mind you, only standing. But it has a dynamite view of the alley and loading dock for the resort, and all the accompanying car noises and back-up beep-beeps. It has only the slider on the lanai and a small window in the bedroom in the back, so fresh air is...limited. This is the space in which I write and try to do some business. Considering that my business and my writing all require creativity, and this place is not quite the inspiration-promoting I generally thrive in, I'm not exactly getting tons done. It's not easy, but we do our best.

What offsets all the challenges of this little condo is our proximity to the beach - just down three floors and a beautiful walk through the resort! Don and I have found ourselves getting into some very cool rituals - we go down there most mornings to do our devotional and pray. That is sometimes challenging because it is anything but a quiet place, since it can be quite a thoroughfare of tourists, We'll stay there for a bit and watch whales and just have a beautiful start to our day. In the late afternoon we'll head down for sunset - and another whale show. Before bed, we head down for one last visit with the waves. In all of this, we are driven and compelled to say our praises to God, the inventor of all this beauty.

I have also taken to working down on the beach. There is a lovely young woman who works at the beach/pool activities kiosk that lets me have one of the beach front lounges for free. But don't tell anybody. She doesn't need all you people showing up to ask for a free cabana. Sheesh. Anyway, I'll sit there and make notes and calls and admittedly, seeking creative inspiration from underneath my eyelids. You'd be amazed how that works!

So, back to my pregnancy analogy...or metaphor - take your pick. The last few weeks before the moving, kicking, sleep-robbing beach ball makes his/her noisy, joyful, tear-producing entrance into open air tend to be the most difficult of the average mommy's pregnancy. If we were to extend that to us, we are now in our last three weeks of...gestating. We haven't seen our dog since before December. I haven't seen my paints or laid a brush on canvas since September. But we know that God has already picked the right home for us - He just hasn't told us yet. It's a crazy, exhilarating, stomach-lurching rollercoaster. But God's got our back.

And He still continues to reveal Himself and surprise us. Last week during one of my "workdays" on the beach, I was listening to some Christian music and BarlowGirl came on with "Here's My Life". The quiet opening line is "Once again I've said my good-byes, to those I love most". There was something so powerful, so pointed about this line - and it revealed something to me that blew my socks off and brought my humbly before God. Don and I have always said that what brought us here, is our love for this island, we prayed, and God said "yes." Turns out, I had that backwards. I LOVED my life in San Diego! I loved the weather (except for May-Gray/June-Gloom), the ocean, mountains. We were being blessed by friends in our church and heavily involved in a ministry we loved. And of course, our kids and grandkids who are simply the joy of our existance. As much as I loved Maui, I never wanted to live here. Then God began to change my heart, Don's heart. We became more discontented with the life in San Diego and more in love with the life style and people in Maui. And now, we can't imagine our life anywhere else.

God has chosen us to be here and we are grateful that He has. He knew how hard it would be sometimes. He knew of the trials and challenges. But He blesses us in such a personal way! One particularly rough afternoon was followed by watching a mama humpback and her baby jump over and over again! And just for me (I hope all those other scores of people on the beach appreciated their proximity to me as I was being so blessed, because they got to enjoy the show, too)!

And as crazy as this sounds to any non-believing readers, it's just simply the way it is. And Praise God for that!