Surrender, Submit, and Obey

Jesus was a carpenter by trade. I can see by your face that you are astounded by my vast Biblical knowledge. But, there is a point to my obvious...obviousness. Jesus was a carpenter - not a travel agent nor a self-realization guru. He wasn't a genie in a bottle. Or a political diplomat, or any kind of diplomat, for that matter. Or an advise columnist. He was simply a carpenter. He also was, and IS, God. Again - obvious. Yet, at times, I have treated Jesus as though He was all of those other things - especially in the last few months.

When things started going amiss (a mess!?!?) back in Maui, I began praying and praying. Not that I hadn't always been praying. My relationship with the Lord was wonderful. I was in the Word daily, sitting on the lounge on our lanai, listening to mynahs and frankolins, and looking at at majestic Moloka'i surrounded by a thread of blue sea. I did daily devotionals with my husband, and we prayed together - for our loved ones, our church, and ourselves. I was very involved in our church family. Don was busy with his business. I was writing and painting and making a home for us. It was a lovely, peaceful time.

And then things started going south. Don had, not one, but two, different clients go buy stuff from other agents. He was being squeezed out of a co-listing, to the point where he finally told the other agent to take it (and, no, there was no other suggestion as to what to do with said listing!). He finally changed brokerages, and things seemed to be picking up. Don is a great buyer's agent who advocates for his clients so they can get what they want (note: the clients who bailed likely paid much more than had they stayed with Don), and he began working with his new broker with clients from California - six individuals trying to choose a vacation home. After tons of hours and miles and properties, the six couldn't choose - but chose to blame Don and his broker. All the while, we were praying. And the funds were disappearing. But Don got a listing for a property across from the ocean. Was this God's answer to our prayers? Was this the provision we had been seeking while on our knees?

Then our landlord opted to not renew the lease.

There was a time a few weeks before that we thought we would have to return to the mainland, but after a long, prayerful conversation with our pastor, Steve, we realized that this was not the time. We were being used in many ways that seemed small, but they had significance. We also needed to trust the Lord for our provision. During this time, we also had the prayerful support of so many. So, now, we had no place to live and not enough money to get a new rental. My prayers began to increase in frequency and intensity. At the eleventh hour, Don's client told us that he had a vacation rental that was available for a couple of months. It was a lovely oceanfront bungalow, but it still required us to pack up and leave a home that we had come to think of as our own. Artwork off the wall. Dishes packed up. Furniture dissembled. All of it then taken to storage. The bed Don and I built. The photography of our island. Paintings that represent so much of our life. The armoire that has the drawer where our granddaughter knows to find Grammy's jewelry. All locked away.

The week after we moved into the bungalow, things seemed to move at breakneck speed. A few months before, we had attempted to sell my Solara convertible. No soap. After much "discussion" and prayer, we decided to sell Don's beautiful Lexus. We had no payments on it, but it would garner a substantial chunk o' change. We thought. After a couple of months and a couple of no-shows, it was rather obvious that, while his car was a beautiful car for a realtor to show folks property, it wasn't a big seller on a tropical island where money is snug. Within a couple of days we got a legit call...on the Solara. Don also got a referral for clients who wanted to buy property on the Big Island. Big, fancy, expensive property. So, within days of moving out of our home in Ka'anapali and into the little bungalow in Lahaina, we sold the convertible which funded our trip to the Big Island to find big fancy property for some rich people. Praise God! God had answered our prayers the way we all wanted Him to.

I won't clutter this with more details than already crammed in here, but within a matter of weeks, Don had these folks in escrow on a dream property in Kona, Don's listing went into escrow and he had both sides of the deal, we put our beloved doggy in boarding when we moved into the little vacation condo, Don's clients' cancelled that escrow, Don put them in escrow in a second gorgeous estate, we used the last of our frequent flyer miles to fly home for Christmas, flew to Arizona to see Don's clients, I got hired by the same clients to do a destination wedding for their horse trainer on their soon-to-be Hawaii property, flew back to SD, made plans for all the kids to once again come out to visit in Maui in March, flew back home to the little condo, Don flew back to Kona to inspect the property, all the while communicating regularly with them about Real Estate documents and weddings and how amazing it will be for them to live in Hawaii. Then they stopped communicating - about everything. Their lawyer took over. Then things began to fall apart. We could not buy tickets for the kids. We could not move to another house and spring our furniture from storage and our pup from the doggy hoosegow. By mid-March, the deal was dead. By April 5th, we had the notice from the Homeowners Association. We were done.

And all this time, we were praying. Our family was praying. Our friends were praying. God answered, but the answer was "no". We thought we were buying God's favor by continuing to serve at our church. Don continued to work hard - working sometimes late into the night - on the short sale, which was proving to be quite complicated. I focussed on writing - both book and blog. We always knew that God is able. Able to pull something out of absolutely nothing. Yes, God is able. But He must also be willing, and this time, He was not. He asked us to surrender what we wanted and thought was necessary for our happiness. He asked us to submit our formidable wills to His wiser will. He asked us to obey Him - no matter our hurt and humiliation and anger and confusion.

So, when I asked God to be our travel agent and book only the journey we wanted to take, He said "no - take the better, if crazier, journey I have designed for you". Instead of a book titled "I'm Okay, You're Okay" by a nice, affirming guru, He wrote a book called The Bible, whose subtitle could be "I'm God, You're Messed Up, Read How Much I Love You Anyway". When I asked Him to give me all my wishes, He said "those aren't good enough for you. Be with me in Eternity and I'll show you some stuff that will blow your mind". I whined about friends that weren't being so nice to me and what should I do about it, He pointed to His Word which has every answer about long-suffering and loving friends - and the story of how His friends didn't treat Him right. I complained vehemently about how unfair the whole thing was. Jesus pointed to the stripes on His back and the wounds in His hands and feet where He took the punishment that was "fairly" mine.

So, here we are, in a figurative and literal desert. My skin does not like to be this dry. My legs kind of look like camel-colored alligator skin dusted with talc. If I thought the clothes storage situation was dicey, you should see what passes as offices for Don and me. What is supposed to be our dining area now has my computer, our printer, and all paper and office supplies. Don's desk is about 20" wide and 15" deep, where he keeps his laptop and various real estate...stuff. On the plus side, his office chair is also a recliner, so those mid-work-day power naps are easier than ever. But there is never a doubt that we are here at God's behest. Granted, we're still clueless - but that's a reeeeeally familiar condition.

So now, we work on the surrender, submit, and obey. And, yes, it is still a daily, difficult battle. But God is good. He is endlessly good.