BUGGIN'!!

Over the last year, I have waxed poetic about the many lovely and amazing creatures that God made for this island. From the magnificent humpback to the tiniest colorful fish, the stately egret to the little finch - we have been continuously awed by the Creator's imagination.

But then...there's the bugs.

Living in the tropics, one would expect to see all kinds of creepy critters - and those expectations would be met. Oh, there are lovely butterflies and big buzzy bees. But there are also gi-normous snails that look rather like an oversized ping-pong ball wearing a party hat and then painted in swirls of various shades of brown. I found a centipede in the house once, and he was huge at about three inches. Then I saw a Maui friend's posting on Facebook holding - with tongs and gloves - a one-foot centipede taken from her yard. I think it was as big around as mine was long. Going out some evenings or on certain jungle-y walks without a repellant that has near nuclear properties might find you becoming a walking smorgasbord of mosquitos and no-see-ums (yes, that's their real name, and no, I don't know who called "um" that first) and then you can entertain yourself by playing dot-to-dot on your legs and arms or cover each shiny bump with pink calamine and look like something from Dr. Suess.

The ants here are as wide in size and variety as any place I know. There are teeny ones, and I have seen some that our 3/4" with a bee-striped tushy. The ants that grab onto food have the best communication system around. Leave something a wee bit greasy out, and in no time it has the entire colony having a feast. Some of these little ones can bite, which only adds to my itchy-polka-dot joy. The real villains, though, are nasty imports known as fire ants. These little beasties are making their way around the islands and the county will jump on any reported nest. I got to do such reporting. FloJo and I were returning from our morning walk from the coffee shop when she needed to stop and do her little thing at her usual spot - a patch of grass under a keave tree. I'm standing there patiently, when I feel something stinging on the top of my foot. I look down to see three bright red ants chomping on my foot with all the enthusiastic energy of twelve-year-old boys at a pie-eating contest. I knocked them off, but the itch was immediately and intense. I walked back home looking like I was permanently stuck on the right foot verse of the Hokey-Pokey. By the time I got home, it had calmed down, but I still put some anti-itchy stuff on. That evening at church, all that was left were some little pinpoint spots, without any itching. Whew!! Yeah, right. I woke up in the middle of the night with a crazy burning itch that had me looking for anything to stop it - even if it was a power saw. Yikes. It took over two weeks of ice packs and foot elevation to get past the worst of it, and another couple weeks for it to disappear completely. Of course, I learned later that had I gone home and washed my foot with hot water and soap, over 90% of the venom would have washed away. Good to know.

The one insect gang most associated with the tropic and eeeeaaaauuuuuuwwww is, of course, the venerable cockroach. Oh, we got us some beeeauts, here! As any in my family can emphatically vouch, I have dealt with a full-on phobia of all things roachy. I have been known to contemplate moving from a house if I see one of those things in there. When we visited the Big Island with the boys many years ago, we stayed in an oceanfront condo that looked innocent enough by day, but was a veritable cockroach gala by night. And some of these bad boys flew. If we were arriving after dark, my heroic men would surround me on all sides, armed with flashlights, and we all scooted together into the safety of our condo. So, knowing that these guys all resided in the place I loved so much, and knowing that my praying for God to remove all the roaches from Maui would be like asking for a size 6 body or a San Diego team to win a Championship - unlikely to happen. So, I just asked God to make me not afraid. Pretty big order for the Lord, but He's just the guy for it.

So, how has it worked out? For the most part, encounters with these big disgusting-but-durable have been from a safe distance - with a few notable exceptions. There was the time that I was getting ready to go snorkeling, dropped my gear in the garage and one of these big fellas came running out of my bootie (the FOOTWEAR!! He ran under the car and eventually found his way into the house where a visiting Gregory dispatched him. I was a little oogied, but not totally undone. For me, that's big progress. Next time was in our small foyer, when I saw this obese roach strolling along. This time, hubby was my hero. Had this bug been snacking less and working out more, he might have avoided the sandal that came smashing down on him. No real ooginess, this time, just a minor ishy. We saw nothing for many months. It was actually after the house and surrounding areas had been sprayed for bugs. Maybe I should have clarified: "No, we wanted NO bugs!! Not to bring us bugs!!" That night I opened the bottom drawer in our bathroom vanity only to have a BIG one fall on my BARE foot!!!! That was a full on oogie-ishy-bleeeeaaaauuuuuaawww!!! The poor guy was in a state of shock himself, so he stood there waiting for death - to which my hubby obliged. After a few minutes of shudders and shivers, I went about my evening ablutions - but I must admit, every time I opened that drawer after that, I kinda stood to the side... And now this temporary haven. Our landlord said he had it sprayed, but we found out...not so much. A few nights ago, I went to take a bath and looked at our clear shower curtain to see a medium-sized (1 1/2") snuggled between two of the shiny clear folds. This guy did not survive the "round of applause" Don gave him while he was settled in his vinyl cranny. My reaction? Minor disgust, with moderate anxiety. Did the guy have friends!?!? I discovered that it was a big "YES" when, while staggering half-asleep into the kitchen for a glass of water in the middle of the night, the instep of my foot landed on something...different. Woke me right up. Sure enough, the bug's identical twin was sitting right where my foot had just been. He wasn't squooshed, but he wasn't moving. Might have been a statement about the fragrance of my foot, but I didn't wait to ask. Once again, Hero Husband took care of it. And me? I went right back to sleep. Thanks, Lord!

So, this place is lovely and I am delighted and blessed to live here!! I have learned to coexist with little crawly things. But a Gil Grissom (the passionate entomologist of CSI) I will never be. But if a few squirmy, unattractive, shudder-inspiring bugs are the price we gotta pay to live here, we get the better end of the deal. By far.